The summer is slipping by, and I have no words on paper to show for it.
I’d imagined myself, curled up in the love seat on the back deck, sipping an iced coffee, or a glass of wine, and finishing my next novel. In reality, if I’m out there sitting, I’m sweating my ass off, or swatting bugs. More likely, I’m chasing tiny people around the sprinkler or inside refilling yet another sippy cup of juice.
I knew that the summer was not going to be a productive time for me. My children are home from preschool, it is just the three of us all day long. We are making amazing memories, and having a heck of a time. But, weeks go by and I’ve done nothing – work wise. My laptop has probably forgotten me. I bring my critique group reworked old stuff and I’m fed up with myself.
“A little unproductive” has turned into a big fat zero, and I have a hundred excuses.
Some of the problem is my lack of time (kids, vacation, running – I’m thinking seriously about that half marathon again, that’s a whole other post) but some of the problem is that I keep getting dragged back to my last work, ‘Running’. I need to forget it. I need to put it down and allow it to cool. I know it needs major reworking and my mind keeps getting sucked back to that, instead of grabbing the baton and sprinting ahead with my new story.
It’s nap time. After I put in a load of laundry, pick up all the toys and deal with the lunch dishes – it’s me time. But there is so much to be done, I’m running in circles. Start reworking ‘Running’? Keep pushing ahead with the new story? Blog? It is overwhelming. I’m an organized person, obnoxiously, really. But in order to to be organized you need to be able to prioritize, and that is where I am getting lost. What’s more important? I think too that my organizational skills are messing with me too. I feel like I need to finish one task before I move on to the next, but ‘Running’ isn’t finished. It isn’t nearly finished. So, moving on to the next story is really freaking hard.
But I have to. I know I need the time and space in order to come at ‘Running’ with fresh eyes. I’m really into the new story, but I’m not even giving it a fighting chance. I feel like I’m spinning. I feel like I need to write. I just need to do it.
To Do: 1. Stop making excuses. 2. Find Time. 3. Write something new. 4. Drink some wine.