I Feel Chubby

Posted by in Feeling Chubby

As you probably know, how much I weigh has been an almost constant struggle for the majority of my life. A few years ago I lost 120lbs, but over the last 2 years some (lots?) has been sneaking back. I blame stress, and going back to school, going back to work and switching birth control, but mostly it’s because I felt really good and I stopped being vigilant. I let myself have that extra treat, or I skipped that run, and somehow my healthy habits got replaced with a lot of sitting on the couch. Somehow I’ve gone from being 5lbs to my goal weight to 32lbs to my goal weight, and I hate it. I feel chubby. My clothes don’t fit right. I’m tired and grumpy a lot more than I was. I don’t like writing about this struggle, it’s personal, and embarrassing, and boring for most of you – I apologize.  But in an effort to hold myself accountable, I’m going to try to be a little more public about what I’m doing, how well I’m doing it, and how it’s going. I know if I jump in to something dramatic that I will a) hurt myself, b) hate it and quit after a week, c) gain 5 more lbs, or most likely all of the above. So, I’m going to try to harness this motivation I feel right now, into smaller, do-able changes each month.

So, here we go…

August 2018
Pounds to goal: 32
Plans to start this month: Stop eating garbage and drink less. Aka, go back to my low/no carb diet, focus on veggies, drink more water and less wine.
8/3 – I already feel better. My hands and face are less puffy, and I’m sleeping better.
8/8 – Josh told me I look thinner. I think he’s trying to get in my pants, but I’m still tickled.
8/10 – Breakfast is the worst. There is nothing I want to eat that I’m “allowed” to eat. Why can’t cinnamon buns be healthy? I’m currently eating about 5oz of greek yogurt with some berries on top. I feel okay about the carbs, and good about the protein, but I’m starving by 10am and I don’t like that feeling. I’m going to have to get used to eating a mid-morning snack, or I’m going to have to come up with a more satisfying breakfast.