I’ve been working on losing weight for a long time now. I just recently crossed into the triple digits. I thought you might be interested in what that feels like.
The Good – Really, Really, Good:
Amazing: It feels amazing. I feel like Wonder Woman. If I can lose 100lbs, what can’t I do? Working at losing this much weight, is the first time in my life that I’ve had to make a conscious decision EVERY DAY to do something hard. School isn’t like that. Work isn’t like that. Kids aren’t really like that. Yo-Yo dieting isn’t like that. Sure, all of the other things in my life that I’ve had to work at are hard sometimes, but making a commitment like this is hard ALL THE TIME. There are no easy pounds. But, when you learn to put your mind to something every day, and you see success, it’s a game changer for the rest of your life.
Energized: More energy is almost my favorite part of my loss. I no longer turn down opportunities to do things because of the effort it will take. Walk to the beach? Sure! Theme park? Alright! I’m not looking for the easiest way. Other than my size, I think my new vigor is the most noticeable side effect too, people comment on how much more active I am, more engaged, faster and zippier. I no longer need naps, something I regularly craved when I was heavier, and I look forward to moving my body – instead of looking forward to curling up with a book or a TV show.
Libido: I feel like I look better, this alone heats things up, but also fat stores hormones, less fat means my hormones are better under control which helps everything from the regularity of my cycle to how likely I am to feel frisky. I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one enjoying this “side effect.” 🙂 (Sorry TMI)
Smaller: This is the obvious one, right? But I actually don’t really feel “smaller” in my day to day activities. I wear a smaller size, and moving is a heck of a lot easier, but as I go through my day I’m reminded that I’m smaller in the weirdest of ways: when my husband holds me and his arms go all the way around, when Redding uses me as leverage to get up and his elbow digs into my newly exposed collar or hip bones, when I can see the bones in my formerly potato shaped feet, when my wedding and engagement rings fall off, when I’m sorting laundry and wondering whose jeans those are – and realizing they are mine, when I squeeze easily into the space between the car seats in our backseat. It’s a little strange to think that I’m taking up less space on the planet.
Surreal: When I look in the mirror I see the same girl I saw a year ago. It’s good – the same big eyes, the same smirk. But I see the same chins, the same cheeks and the same belly too. I don’t see how much I’ve changed in the mirror. I’m regularly surprised by the difference when I see myself in pictures, or when I order jeans in the size that I think I am, and they are too big, or when I pull out a sweater that I used to love and am drowning in it. How can I be the girl in the size 26 in the mirror, and the girl in the baggy size 12 jeans at the same time?
The Less Good:
I Still Hate How I Look in Pictures: I’ve always hated to have my picture taken. I’m never happy with how I look. I thought with being thinner that would change. It didn’t. While I no longer focus on how huge I look (most the time) my thinner face has revealed that I have lines around my eyes and mouth I never knew were there, and that I *do* have the giant Smith nose that I’ve teased my brother about for years. I also always make some sort of weird face. I’m trying to get over this for the sake of my children. I want them to have pictures of all of us together, I want them to be able to see in 10 years how much fun we had together.
Shopping is Overwhelming: When you’re a plus size, there are a limited amount of stores that sell things that you can fit into, and that look good, and that fit your budget. When you’re a regular size, there are a whole heck of a lot more. It’s exciting, and overwhelming. I don’t know where to look, and since my shape has changed, I don’t know what looks good on me anymore.
Your Whole Shape Changes AKA Everything Droops: I’m not just a smaller version of my old body. My boobs are gone. 🙁 My thighs and bum are different from all the running. If I want to play up a feature it’s my legs and not my cleavage. It’s weird. Plus, I’ve had two babies and lost 100lbs, my skin – especially on my belly and breasts – hates me. I’ve done so much work and I still don’t like how I look in a swimsuit. I’m pretty sure I have plastic surgery in my future. BUT – I can’t complain. I really can’t.
If I had to sum up what it feels like to lose 100 pounds in one word, (which is hard for me and my verbose nature), I’d say lighter.
My body is lighter. My touch is lighter. My soul is lighter.